Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im part way to drunk.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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