I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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