Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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