he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
