Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Panties = found
Randomize
