Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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