Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
