I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
