Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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