just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
