Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
