if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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