OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
