Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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