I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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