oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
