Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
