just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize