Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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