So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
