What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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