yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Everclear isn't food dammit
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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