you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
