No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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