just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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