Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
