Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wear drunk well.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
