so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
