the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
