Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
