Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Boobs speak an international language.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
