Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
