Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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