I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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