Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I currently don't understand fingers.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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