Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
