is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
