yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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