hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
