Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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