he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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