Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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