It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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