Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
