so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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