did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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