i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
