and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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