I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
