HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
