I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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