I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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