belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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