i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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