my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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