Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Can i not drive my cunt home
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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