Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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