ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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