Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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