I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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