and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
