this beer tastes like vomit already
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
